


The First Avenger

by bandgeekwriter



Series: Adventures of Female Captain America. [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M, Female Steve Rogers, WWII
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-13
Updated: 2019-07-26
Packaged: 2020-01-12 11:10:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 14,655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18445346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bandgeekwriter/pseuds/bandgeekwriter
Summary: Stephanie Grace Rogers is many things, sick, frail, but most of all she’s stubborn. That being said the one way to ensure that she’ll do something is by telling her she can’t. Some examples of that include, picking fights, wearing slacks, and joining the army.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Gold to Airy Thinness Beat](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7597150) by [ISeeFire](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ISeeFire/pseuds/ISeeFire). 



Stephanie Grace Rogers is many things, sick, frail, but most of all she’s stubborn. That being said the one way to ensure that she’ll do something is by telling her she can’t. Some examples of that include, picking fights, wearing slacks, and joining the army.

Picking herself off of the ground, she brushes the dirt off of her hands and knees. Stephanie drags herself out of the alley after literally being thrown out of the enlistment office. Walking back to her (Well Bucky’s) apartment, she keeps her head down, so she won’t draw the attention of their neighbors.   Once the door is closed she leans against it, taking her hair down, letting it fall down her back. Unbuttoning her (again Bucky’s) shirt, she laughs. _The only thing I ever get complimented on is my hair._

“Anyone ever tell you it’s not decent for a girl to strip in front of a taken man.” A familiar voice startles her. Turning to the kitchen, she makes her way quickly over to him, throwing her arms around his neck.

“Bucky!” She exclaims burying her face into his shoulder, and breathing in his scent. “Why didn’t you tell me you were coming home?”  Bucky lets out a laugh and something in Stephanie’s chest eases.

“Well I wanted to surprise my best girl.” He says presses a kiss to the side of her head. Pulling back she holds him at arms length.

“I think my fiancé will have something to say about that.”  Bucky leans closer causing her elbows to bend.

“I’m sure I can take him.” His grey eyes are bright as his hands go to her waist.

“I don’t know, he’s really strong, Buck.” Her hands move to his hair, which is stiff from the pomade he used that morning.

“Give me his name then, Steph and we’ll find out.”

“James Buchannan Barnes.” His name barely leaves her lips before he kisses her. Quick and simple, smiling when she tries to follow as he pulls away.

“Who the hell names their kid that?” He asks and she laughs. Stephanie is hit the a realization causing her to pull away.

“Oh, you’re probably starving, sit down and I’ll make some…” She trails off going through a mental list of the kitchen cabinets. “Thing.” She concludes. Payday isn’t until tomorrow but maybe she can scrounge up enough to get something for him to eat. Bucky laughs shaking his head.

“Just promise me you’ll eat while I’m gone.” It’s said in a light manner, but she knows he’s serious. “And why are you wearing my clothes, Steph?”

“It was stocking day at the shop and I didn’t want everyone seeing up my skirt.” It’s a lie and they both know it, if the look on Bucky’s face is anything to go by.

“Stay out of trouble Stephanie.”

“I will.”

“I mean it. I don’t want to come back and find out that someone had to scrape you off the sidewalk.”

“So do I.” Coming back to reality outside of their little world, she notices that Bucky is wearing his dress uniform.  “You get your orders?”

“Sargent James Barnes, shipping out in two weeks.” He says. “Stephanie I know you said you always wanted to get married in May, but you think we could do it before I leave?”

“No.” She says firmly.

“What?” Bucky is shocked and if were any other time Stephanie would have allowed herself to feel satisfied with that.

“No.” She repeats, going over to the cabinets and pulling out what’s there.

“Why?” He can’t think of any reason why she’s so adamant about being married next May.

“Because then you won’t have a reason to come back and…” Her chest feels tight at the thought of losing him. “You James Barnes, are going to be back here by May 24th next year.” She turns to him when she says this, her gaze like blue steel and Bucky is reminded again why he loves her.

“Yes ma’am” he says giving her a salute and she punches him in the shoulder.

“You’re a jerk.” She says smiling.

“Punk.”

___________________________

            The next two weeks are filled with Bucky trying to convince her that they should get married before he ships out. During one of these attempts she slams her sketchbook down on the table.

“Damnit Buck, why is this important to you?” Her blue eyes are stormy with annoyance.

“Who’s going to take care of you when I’m gone?” He asks and immediately knows that it’s the wrong thing to say.

“I’ll take care of myself.” She closes the book and previous experience tells Bucky that she’s about to leave.

“What about when you get sick this winter? Don’t pretend like you can do it yourself because you know you can’t.” She may be stubborn but he’s just has hard headed.

“What, you want me to move in with your folks and just wait for you to come home?” The expression on her face reminds Bucky of something Sarah used to say about her.

_Be careful James, her attitude is too big for her body._

“Yes!” He exclaims. “Yes and that’s not anything against you, but how do you expect me to focus on the front lines when I’m worried about yo-“ She walks up to him so fast he’s almost convinced that she ran across the room, hair flying behind her.

“James Barnes don’t you dare finish that excuse.”

“Explain to me why this is so important to you.”

“It’s what we promised my mom.” All the fight has drained out of both of them at that, and Bucky sighs.

“If  you promise me, that you’ll go to my folks when you get sick, we can get married on May 24th." He offers the compromise.

“Only if you promise to come back in one piece and still breathing.”

“I’ll write everyday sweetheart,” he promises. Rolling her eyes she replies.

“You better.” Despite the attitude she means it.

__________________________

            It’s Bucky’s last night when he finds out about Stephanie’s enlistment attempts. _Attempts._ Plural.  So his fuse is already short when he notices her eyeing the recruitment stand at the Stark Expo.

“No.” He says sharply.

“Bucky-“ She starts but he’s quick to cut her off before she can talk him into seeing whatever twisted logic her brain is using.

“No Stephanie. What happens if somehow you get accepted?”

“I’ll go to bootcamp and then be shipped off.” She says like he’s the one being unreasonable.

“You wouldn’t survive bootcamp, Steph. It’s hot and damp. Which you may remember don’t mix well with your lungs.”

“I can’t just sit back and do nothing.” She argues. “Bucky, there are men laying down their lives, I’ve got no right to do any less than them.”

“Right because you have nothing to prove.” He says sincerely, wrapping an arm around her shoulders guiding her away from the booth. Both man and woman unaware of the Doctor who just overheard their argument.


	2. Chapter 2

Bucky’s been gone for two weeks before anything exciting happens. She’s waiting tables when two men in uniform approach her.

“Are you Stephanie Rogers?” The one on the left asks.

“Am I in trouble?” She asks.

“Come with us.” The other one says and Steph mutters under her breath.

“I’m in trouble.” Before calling out to the other woman behind the counter. “Martha I’m taking my break early!” They guide her to a car and takes her to a doctor’s office in the back of the recruitment center.  A small tired looking man in his late fifties enters the room and introduces himself has Abraham Erskine.

“So Miss Rogers, you want to kill some Nazis?” The doctor asks with a German accent.

“Is this a test?” The doctor makes a considering face replying.

“Yes.”

“I don’t want to kill anyone,” she says honestly. “I don’t like bullies whether they’re on the streets or leading an army.”  Erskine stamps a 1A on a form.

So far Stephanie is the only one who hasn’t complained aloud about the bootcamp conditions. Partly because she’s stubborn, and partly because she doesn’t want to seem weak. Not that her silence improves anyone’s opinion of her, If Hodge’s snide comments are anything to go by. On a brighter note, Peggy has taken eating one meal with Stephanie a day claiming that being the only two females at camp that they must stick together.

Currently the troops are running the trails, Stephanie is obviously bringing up the rear. They stop by a flag where they are told that the person who can give the drill Sargent will be able to ride back.  Steph watches how the men attempt to climb the flag pole. Waiting for the men to abandon their current attempts, and ignoring the Sargent’s command to fall in. Unhinging the rigs that are holding it up. Stumbling she hands the flag off and climbs into the car next to Peggy.

After jumping on a training grenade, which she didn’t know was fake at the time, but Bucky doesn’t need to know that part. Stephanie is somehow chosen for the super soldier experiment.

            On the way to some lab, Steph finds herself once again in a car with Peggy, pointing out all of the places she’s gotten into fights, unaware of the British woman’s growing shock.

“Did you have something against running away?”

“If you start running, they’ll never let you stop.” They ride in silence mostly after that until Stephanie speaks again. “Can you do me a favor?”

“Of course.” Steph takes the ring, feeling exposed. Almost wrong for taking it off after so long.

“Hold on to this for me, just in case.”  Agent Carter nods silently taking in the small ring on a chain.

“Who gave this to you?” Stephanie feels a smile break out on her face.

“James Barnes,.” She says fondly. “Longest engagement Brooklyn has ever seen.”

“Afraid of commitment?” 

“No, we always said that we married on May 23rd,1942.”  Peggy can’t help but grip the ring a little tighter.

            Before the procedure she strips down to an undershirt and pants that are too big. Either way she still feels exposed in a room full of personnel.

“That wasn’t too bad.” She says once a nurse injects her with something. Erskine who is standing beside her smiles sympathetically.

“That was penicillin.” He informs her. 

The procedure is inherently more painful than the penicillin. Stephanie can feel the changes her body is going through. She stops Erskine from getting Stark to stop the procedure. Because she meant it when she said that she could take it. Once everything is said and done, she lies on the table covered in sweat. Peggy is the first one to reach her, handing her a bigger t-shirt. Which Stephanie is thankful for when she remembers that she’s in a room full of mostly men, and the undershirt that once did more than cover her, is now too small.

The peace is soon disrupted by an explosion, and a gunshot. And has Steph chances down the man responsible for this Erskine’s last words ring in her head. _Stay has you are, not the perfect soldier, but a good person._ Anger is what causes her to tackle the guy down, completely ignoring the fact she’s running through the streets of Brooklyn barefoot. Before she can ask questions the culprit crushes a cyanide tablet with a whisper of Hail Hydra.

Philips gives her hell for letting the Hydra member die and Steph stands there at attention, biting the inside of her lip, so she doesn’t talk back to the colonel, only opening her mouth to protest when he suggests that they put her in a lab. She’s introduced to Senator Brandt who said something about how the people have seen her in action. Given the choice she went with the Senator because at least that way she’s helping.


	3. Chapter 3

A few weeks into the show and Stephanie begins to question her sanity. A handful of men have approached her and tried to take her out to dance and just shakes her head sympathetically and shows them the engagement ring around her neck. This of course starts a rumor that Lady Liberty is engaged to a solider destined for death. The first time Stephanie hears it is from Brandt who smiles saying that it’s good for publicity unaware that for the first time since the serum that Stephanie’s chest has gone tight at the very thought of losing Bucky. When one of the girls brings it up to her, Steph just says with a tight smile that her man isn’t going to die in some stupid war, before they get married because he made a promise that he’d be home in May, and James Barnes never breaks his promises.

            After the eighth show she’s told that they’re going to get a male lead to ‘compliment’ her. They also change her costume with an even shorter skirt. Which Steph didn’t think was possible. When she first sees the new poster, she snorts Captain America and Lady Liberty.

They bring in a tall blonde with brown eyes who introduces himself has Jonathan Wilburn, once he gets over the embarrassment of the fact that Stephanie is taller than him while she’s barefoot.

Johnathan is quick to leave after the firm handshake she gave him with a weak.

“Well I better introduce myself to the other ladies?” He says ears tinted pink. Once she’s alone she pulls on the platform boots they make her wear, and takes her hair down so it’s loose and wavy. 

“Looks sale.” She repeats what Brandt had said to her the first time she protested about the costume.

            The show itself was more embarrassing than usual for Steph because she had to pretend to swoon has ‘Captain America’ punched ‘Hitler’ in the face. _Oh God, Bucky would be laughing his ass off if he ever saw the show._ She thinks has Jonathan wraps his arms around her.

Afterwards Wilburn approaches her with a dinner invitation, and the offer to dance afterwards, which Steph promptly turns down because something isn’t right about the man.

“C’mon Miss Rogers, relax.” He pushes and she straightens her posture to meet him toe to toe.

“I am relaxed Wilburn; I am just not in the mood for company tonight.” He doesn’t invite her anymore for dinners and she’s pleased with that. However, rumors start. The other girls talk about it when they think Steph can’t hear them.

“Engaged to a dead man.” One girl with dark hair says and Stephanie thinks her name is Eliza.

“I don’t think there ever was a man.” Another one replies. “She’s so stuffy. Besides what man would want to be stuck with that?”

“She’s pretty though,” One of the other girls interjects and Steph is getting the message loud and clear even before Eliza speaks again.

“Looks can only get you so far, Anne, besides no man wants a woman to be as big as he is.”  Funnily enough that’s what shakes her. It reminds her that Bucky hasn’t seen her since the serum and might not even want her the way she is now. Shaking her head she slams the brush down with a bit more force than necessary and the other girls jump. Steph tries not to but she can’t help but feel satisfaction in their reactions.

“I’ll finish getting ready elsewhere.” She informs them with a tight smile.

Stephanie leaves the room and starts braiding her hair as she makes her way down the hall.

“You know the stage is the other way, right?” Jonathan informs from behind her and Steph wants to bang her head through the wall.

“Just getting some air.” She tells him.

“Are you trying to get mugged?”

“I can handle myself” she snaps at him startling herself with how much she sounds like her mom.

“I don’t doubt it but still.” She cuts him off giving him her showgirl smile.

“I said I can handle myself, Wilburn.” Her words are sharp, and she walks away.

_____________

A few months later Brandt comes and announces that they will be going overseas to preform the show for the troops. Stephanie feels her cheeks warm at the thought of the first time Bucky seeing her in six months would be to her prancing around stage with a showgirl outfit.

On a brighter note her and Wilburn have managed to come to some sort of silent agreement, which made being his presence less awkward than it was before.

Has it turns out the soldiers prefer the girls on stage doing their little number for obvious reasons that Steph rather not think about. After another nightmare of a show, she’s sitting with a coat pulled tight around her to fight off some of the chill, and a notepad that’s slowly being filled with doodles and sketches. 

“They gave you the choice between lab rat and dancing monkey. Yet you chose dancing monkey.” A familiar British voice says from behind her.  Steph looks at the direction and there stands Peggy Carter in all of her glory.

“Peggy, did you enjoy the show?”

“No to be perfectly honest.” Stephanie deflates a little.

“Yeah the troops seem to agree with you.”

“Well, I’d imagine it would be difficult to cheer this crowd up, they’re what remains of the 107th.” Steph stands notepad falling forgotten on the floor.

“The 107th are you sure?”  Peggy nods and understanding quickly crosses her face. Stephanie quickly makes her way to the tent where Colonel Phillips is set up.

“Sir, I need to know about the missing troops. Is Sargent James Barnes on the list.” She begins to spell out Bucky’s name but the Colonel cuts her off with a sharp ‘I can spell.’ And informed her that the name sounds familiar. However she’s told that they were only MIA and not killed. Which she was also informed that a rescue mission will not be sanctioned. Stephanie storms out of the tent. Not has Lady Liberty, or a solider, but as Steph Rogers, the pissed off fiancé of Bucky Barnes.


	4. Chapter 4

Stephanie breaks into Jonathan’s room and steals his Captain America costume. Because she doubts, she can navigate miles of enemy territory in heels and a skirt. Once in her own room she changes into her companion’s costume. Tying the boots as tight as they can go, and making sure they completely cover the extra few inches of skin between the pant leg and her ankle.  On her way out the door, she pauses by the prop table and grabs the shield on a whim. She’s at the boarders of camp when Peggy finally catches up with her.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

“If you’re going to try and stop me you can save your breath.” Peggy doesn’t flinch the way most other women would instead she offers Steph a small smile and offers.

“There’s a faster way.”

The faster way has it turns out involves Howard Stark and a plane. After jumping out of the plane, breaking into the facility, as well as freeing some prisoners Steph is surprised by her own strength.

“Do any of you know James Barnes?” She asks desperately scanning the sea of unfamiliar faces for the one that’s familiar as her own.

“Who are you?” A man in a bowler hat and a mustache asks her.

“I’m Captain America.” She says confidently, glad to leave the Lady title behind her.

“But you’re a woman.”

“Yeah, the woman who just saved your ass.”  The man tells her about the lab and she gives him as well as a few bystanders some orders before making her way towards the labs where apparently no one has come back from. A small man is hurriedly leaving a room and Steph is torn between stopping him or finding Bucky. Obviously she goes with finding Bucky. She checks the room the man just vacated and is glad to see her fiancé there. However out of it he may be. She snaps the restraints with little effort and now she’s trying to bring Bucky back to his senses.

“Hey, Bucky.” Steph turns his head towards her smiling a bit when his grey eyes clear.

“Steph.” He gasps out.

“It’s me. James Barnes, I could kill you. I thought you were dead.” She states wrapping one of his arms around her shoulders.

“I thought you were smaller.” The base starts to shake has they make their way down the hall with questions like.  “What happened to you? Which Steph’s response is.

“I joined the army.”

“Is it permanent?”

“So far.” Their get away is halted by Johann Schmidt, who Steph decides upon first glance is a freak in every sense of the word. 

“Captain America, or should I say Lady Liberty, I’m a fan of your films.”  Stephanie is going to find every copy of those films and burn them. “No matter what Erskine told you, I am his greatest creation.” Schmidt proceeds to rip off his face revealing a red skull, beside her Bucky whispers.

“You don’t have one of those do you?”  Schmidt makes a get away just has the flames rise and Steph has to hold her breath has Bucky crosses to the other platform from an unstable rafter, which proceeds to collapses after the man is off of it.  “There has to be a rope or something!” He calls over the noise of the flames.

“Just go! Get out of here!” Steph yells, she can die peacefully as long as she knows that Bucky is okay. From the look on his face that’s the wrong thing to say because he yells back.

“No, not without you!” Their time is running out and Stephanie thinks that if she gets out of this alive Bucky’s going to kill her himself. Bending the rail so she has a clear opening she takes a couple of steps back, taking a deep breath and gets a running start before jumping across to the other platform, where Bucky is quick to grab her and pull her away from the edge holding her close for a second before holding her at arm’s length.

“We should get out of here before the whole building is up in flames.” She says taking the lead, showing him the way out. Only to have a gun pointed in her face.  “It’s me!” She calls, mostly because she’s not sure she could survive a shot to the head even with the serum. 

            Sometime on the trek back to camp, a group of the men she rescued, one consisted of the man she got an attitude with.

“I don’t think I ever got your real name.” He says offering a friendly smile. “Timothy Dugan,” He introduces himself.

“Steph Rogers,” She shakes his hand. The men around her give her shocked looks.

“Sarge’s Steph?”

“I certainly hope so.”  This time a man with a French accent speaks in careful English.

“But he told us you were-“He pauses for the right word and his friend with dark skin finishes for him.

“A twig.”

“Oui, a twig.”  The French man agrees, and Steph makes a mental note to try and learn some different languages.

“Yeah, I used to be.” She admits and this time the Japanese man speaks.

“Then how did you end up like this.”

“You seem healthy as a horse.” A brit speaks this time.

“That’s a little difficult to explain.” She says has Bucky approaches them, standing next to her. “You’ve known me your whole life and the best you can say about me is that I’m a twig.”  She pretends to be mad.

“I only told them the good stuff.” Bucky offers but his tone is wrong, and his eyes are dull. Making sure to bring the light back to them is number one on Steph’s to do list now.

“Why don’t we set up camp for the night, let the injured rest.” She calls out loud enough for everyone to hear her.

            After everyone is settled, Stephanie makes her move, sitting down next to Bucky, who has stationed himself further away from everyone else. 

“Okay Barnes, what’s up?”

“I don’t know what you mean.”  Steph grits her teeth.

“Why do you keep looking at me like I’m about to disappear?” Bucky sighs and looks at her.

“I didn’t know it was actually you until you jumped across the platform.”  She tilts her head in the way she did when she couldn’t hear well in crowded places. More of a habit than anything else.

“What about the jump was so special?” He smiles but it didn’t reach his eyes, more like a quiet resignation.

“Because no one else is dumb enough to do anything like that.”  She bumps him with her shoulder, and he takes her hand in his interlacing their fingers.

“Shut up.” She says but there’s no heat behind the words. Steph closes her eyes and rests her head on Bucky’s shoulder.

“What are you going to do about Rogers?” He lets go of her hand in favor of taking her hair down.

“That’s Captain Rogers to you Sargent.”

“Well Captain Rogers, do you want me to fix your hair.” 

“Maybe in the morning, I’m comfortable,” She’s tired to. Turns out there’s only so much the serum can do.  

“Are you hurt anywhere?” He asks.

“Maybe a couple of gunshots but nothing bad.” Which she forgets Bucky doesn’t have a lot of knowledge about the serum because he tenses immediately pushing her away and trying to open the costume to look at injuries that have already healed. “Bucky!” She slaps his hands away. “It’s literally already healed.” She tells him taking on of his hands and pressing them to where some of her blood has dried on the costume. Bucky looks confused when his hand comes away no dirtier than when Steph pressed it against the bloody spot. “I’m a super solider. Enhanced healing and all of that.”  Barnes relaxes.

“Jesus, Steph you can’t do that do me.”

“Well if it wasn’t for me you’d still be strapped to a table.” She says.

“She’s got a point,” Jones says and Stephanie jumps not hearing anyone approach.

“I like him.” Steph says and the others laugh. Wow, she’s really not with it.

“Don’t encourage her or she’ll only get worse.”  

“I don’t Sarge, she seems like a real card to me.” Dum Dum says. Bucky pulls a little on the end of her hair and says.

“Yeah she’s something alright.”

“So Cap, a one man rescue mission this far behind enemy lines sounds pretty unsanctioned to me.” Morita says and the six of them are looking at her and Steph smiles sheepishly. Bucky looks at her sharply.

“Steph, who was this mission approved by?”  Stephanie doesn’t answer right away just presses her lips into a thin line before responding.

“I talked to Colonel Phillips about it.” Everyone except her and Bucky laughs. “And.” Steph straightens her back. “You don’t get to lecture me about being reckless anymore for a very long time James Barnes.”  He opens his mouth to protest but the Captain isn’t having it. “You got yourself kidnapped and experimented on. I don’t want to hear it.”  Bucky concedes and the other five men look at the scene with amusement.

“I’ll be damned,” Dugan says. “Sarge actually lost an argument.” Stephanie is still sitting with her back straight but she sees Bucky smile and something in him fall back into place, so she lets a small smile of her own appear on her face.

_____________________________________

            It takes them two more days to get back to camp.

“You’re late.” Peggy says standing toe to toe with Stephanie, has she pulls out the broken transponder.

“I couldn’t call my ride.”  The blonde turns and addresses the Colonel who has made his way through the crowd. “These men need medical attention, and I would like to surrender myself to disciplinary action.” Because her mom taught her to break noses and accept the consequences. Phillips glances around at the men around her.

“That won’t be necessary.” He finally says and Stephanie can’t help but feel slightly relieved. Next to her Bucky yells.

“Lets hear it for Captain America!” And the crowd of troops cheer. Glancing at her fiancé Steph smiles because right now they’re okay.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a bit longer than the others but things are going to kick off next one. Has usual some spelling errors might be there but it happens.

Steph goes and sees Bucky the moment a nurse informs her that he’s allowed to have visitors. Perching herself on the foot of his bed.

“It seems like our roles have been reversed.” She says lightly, resting her hand on Bucky’s ankle and he rolls his eyes.

“Just consider it payback for all of these years.” Steph raises her eyebrows.

“Is that a challenge because you know that I never back down?”

“If you end up needing an arm cut off I’m not taking care of you.” Bucky says and they both know that he would take care of her no matter what. Turning up his hand he holds it out to her has an offer. “Come here, Steph. I want to get a proper look at you.” Bucky requests  Causing Stephanie to blink realizing that maybe yeah Bucky and her haven’t had a proper conversation since they got back to camp. She takes his hand interlacing their fingers.

“I’m glad you’re okay.” She says quietly, before. “I have a meeting tomorrow.”

“I thought you were good to go.”

“According to Peggy, it’s more like a debrief more than anything else.” Bucky snorts quietly.

“Well, she seems like the kind of dame who’s never wrong.” He says kissing the back of her hand.

_______________

            Peggy was obviously right about the meeting. Phillips has her give him the locations of the mapped-out Hydra bases.

“I only got a quick glance.” She says at her friends look.

“Well nobody’s perfect.” Peggy says lightly.

“We’re going to put together a team of the best men and you are going to lead them and take out the rest of these bases.” Phillips approaches her with the idea and Stephanie thinks about the men that stood by her and Bucky on the march back to camp, that somehow wormed their way into her heart. Confidently she says.

“With all due respect sir, I already have one.”

__________________

“Let’s get this straight, we barely got out of there alive and you want us to go back?” Jones asks. They are all looking at her like she’s about to drop a punchline for the funniest joke in the world.

“Yes.” Steph replies.

“Sounds kind of fun actually.” Falsworth adds.

“Hell I’m in.” Dugan says putting his mug down on the table. Deriner and Jones have a rapid fire conversation in French and Stephanie looks at them expectantly.

“We’re in.” Jones gestures between them. Morita nods his agreement.

            Per Dum-Dum’s request Steph opens a tab much to the dismayed bartender. Sliding into the seat beside Bucky.

“Did they agree?” He asks and she nods. “I told you they’re all idiots.”

“What about you? Are you ready to follow Captain America into the jaws of death?” She asks air quotes obvious on the name.

“Hell no.” Bucky says, and Steph’s insides turn into ice, it feels like someone has shoved a stake into her heart. She always thought that they would go everywhere together. “That little girl from Brooklyn who was dumb enough not to run away from the fight, I’m following her.” Steph punches him not hard enough to bruise but hard enough to hurt.

“Damnit Buck, I thought you were leaving me.” Bucky startles before turning serious lowering his voice so she’s the only one that can hear him.

“Let’s get one thing fucking clear Rogers, I am not going to leave you. Till the end of the line remember?” Steph nods mostly because she knows what he sounds like when he lies. Bucky offers her a smile and says. “Good. Now how about we show all of these guys how real dancing is done.”

“What?” Stephanie asks but her fiancé is steadfastly ignoring her, has he drags her to the dance floor. “Buck, you know it’s going to hurt a hell of a lot more now when I step on your toes then it did before right?”

“Have I ever cared about that doll? I want to show you off to all of these men. To show them that I got the best girl there ever was.” Her newly assembled team whoops and cat calls when they walk past the table. Bucky sends them a shit eating grin before they start swaying to the music.

“You know maybe we should move the wedding date up.”  Bucky blinks at her.

“But your ma-“ Steph cuts him off.

“Would understand perfectly that what we’re doing dangerous.”

“I want it in May.”

“Buck-“

“No, Steph. I know it’s important to you and I don’t want you to regret it.” She rubs the back of his neck where her hands rests.

“How’d a man like you get stuck with a dame like me?” She smiles and Bucky tugs at the end of her hair where it’s loose towards the small of her back.

“God decided that I needed a strong woman to keep me in line.”  Stephanie smiles because if anything Bucky is the one that keeps her in line.

“I hate to interrupt but I need to speak with Captain Rogers.” Peggy cuts through.

“Whatever you have to say to me you can say to Sargent Barnes.” Steph says confidently and both Peggy and Bucky give her amused looks.

“Very well. Mr. Stark has some equipment for you to test tomorrow. Be there at 0800 Captain.” Her friend is gone as fast as she came.

“Stark?” Bucky asks.

“Yeah Howard.” Bucky’s eyes light up in true excitement.

“Can I come with you tomorrow?”

“As long as you behave yourself.” She says dramatically.

“When have I ever embarrassed you?” Steph gives Bucky a very pointed look, because when you’ve known someone as long as they’ve known each other there’s no way not to embarrass the other. The music ends and Stephanie steps away.

“I’ll meet you there Sargent don’t be late.”  Another voice interjects.

 “Can I borrow your partner Sargent Barnes.” Jonathan asks Bucky who looks at Steph who just shrugs.

“It’s up to her.” That’s part of the reason she loves Bucky. Most men would have spoken for their girls, but her James has always allowed her to speak and think for herself. Both men are looking at her expectantly and she smiles, Wilburn takes a startled step back and Steph thinks that maybe it’s the first time she’s genuinely smiled at him.

“I would be delighted.” She rolls her eyes at her own words grabbing his arm. “But if you try anything I will put you through the floor.”

“I don’t doubt it.” Jonathan keeps his hands closer to her ribs than her waist. “So breaking into my room and stealing my costume and you have nothing to say.” His tone is light.

“Well I couldn’t conduct an unsanctioned rescue mission in a showgirl outfit.”

“Your guy must have his hands full.” Wilburn says and Steph can’t fight the too loud laugh that escapes her.

“You have no idea pal.” She says.

            Later that night she’s awakened by knocking on her dressing room door, where she’s been sleeping ever since they got to Europe. Swinging her legs over the couch, Steph quickly makes her way to the door.

“Who is it?”

“The man of your dreams.” She smiles hand on the doorknob leaning against the door frame.

“Oh, is Frank Sinatra visiting me past midnight?”

“I’m offended Steph.”  She opens the door to the sight of Bucky smiling the smile that broke a lot of hearts in Brooklyn. “Hey sweetheart.” They are in each other’s space, and Steph’s not sure who moves first but they’re kissing. Stephanie leans into it a little too much causing Bucky to stumble back a little.

“Sorry.” She says breathlessly. Steph can feel her cheek s flush from embarrassment. “I’m not used to the whole,” she gestures to herself. “Thing.” He quirks an eyebrow at her.

“So, you volunteering to be a lab experiment is just a minor thing that happens every day.”

“Better than being forcefully experimented on.” Stephanie shoots back unthinkingly before apologizing. “Buck, I’m sorry. I-“ He cuts her off by pressing a kiss to her forehead.

“You’ve always gotten mean when you’re tired.”

“I’m always mean.” She tries weakly because after everything she hasn’t gotten a proper nights sleep since Bucky shipped out. He moves them so they’re both in the room. Before closing and locking the door.

“Doll you may be a super solider now, but you still need to rest.”  He guides her back to the couch laying her down. “Nice digs.” He says.

“Being the star of the show has its perks.” Bucky is sitting next to her hips, holding her hand, reminiscent of the times where he sat by her side when she was so sick, she could barely move. It’s comforting the way most familiar things are.

“It seems like you’ve just been demoted sweetheart.” She blinks sluggishly at him.

“I don’t care about that, Buck. You have to know that I don’t care where I am or what I do as long as I’m with you.”

“I’ve gathered that Steph, you literally walked through hell two days ago and dragged me out.”

“And I would do it again James.” Her eyes are getting heavier.

“Well if tonight proves anything you’ll have to.”

“I’m not sorry.” She mumbles. “Stay with me.” Stephanie requests before drifting off.

_____________

            The next morning Stephanie arrives on time for her meeting with Howard, but it’s Stark and Bucky who are late. The blonde secretary makes conversation.

“That Sargent Barnes sure is dreamy.” Steph looks up shocked.

“Sorry?” She asks, making sure she heard the other woman correctly.

“Sargent James Barnes, who know tall, blue eyes.” Steph tries to stamp down the jealously that rears its ugly head. _His eyes are grey._  She thinks before saying.

“Yeah I know him.” The other blonde leans forward the way most dames do when they’re about to gossip.

“I heard he has a girl that’s real sick back home waiting for him.”  Bucky approaches them silently, and Steph straightens her dress uniform, making a show of pushing her hair over her shoulders making sure the chain that held her engagement ring catches the light. Standing up to her full height goes over to Bucky, wrapping her arms around him.

“Yeah, last I heard she got better.” Steph says before kissing her fiancé, who makes a surprised noise before kissing her back, his hands going to her hips, pulling her close.

“Captain,” Peggy says causing the couple to jump apart. “If you’re not otherwise preoccupied Mr. Stark is ready for you now.” Has they’re walking towards the lab where Howard is set up, Bucky rests a hand on the small of his back. Steph looks over at the now flustered secretary and gives her a wink.

Howard shows them a series of shields which Stephanie goes automatically for the one that looks like a trashcan lid. Stark explains that it’s made of vibrainum, which is the rarest and strongest metal earth has to offer. Bucky’s eyes light up in excitement, he’s always loved science.

“Oh and Captain, I’ve made some uniform designs for you.” Stark says with a gleam in his eyes that Stephanie is quickly learning means trouble.  A bundle of fabric is shoved her way and Steph makes her way to a closet that will have to serve has a dressing room. The skirt shows no problems though she was hoping for pants. The problem comes with the top because it’s tight enough Stephanie is sure whoever looks at her could see her bra outline through it. Gritting her teeth she steps out and tries to keep her head held high has everything in the busy lab stopped.

“Well how do I look?” She asks Bucky who is looking at her with wide eyes.

“Well I might be having a few unsavory thoughts about you right now Captain.” Stark says and Bucky sends him a glare.

“You look great Steph, but I think it’s unpractical.” Thank the Lord, Bucky seems to have a similar train of thought has her.

“Howard, I thought we agreed on something,” Peggy looks at the three of them. “With a bit more coverage.”

“I know Peg, I just wanted to see how it would look.” Peggy rolls her eyes.

“Men,” She mutters taking Stephanie’s arm guiding her back to the closet with a bundle of fabric. “This is the real one, Howard means well, he’s just…” Peggy pauses looking for the word. “Howard.”

“So, he’s always so…” Steph asks unzipping the shirt, her back towards her friend.

“Yes,” Peggy says firmly.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's some description of injuries in this chapter. While it's not detailed.

The following weeks Stephanie and her team move to an SSR bunker.

“It’s going to be awhile before we’re ready to take out Hydra.” Peggy informs her on the way there. “Until then, you and your team get settled and we’ll have you out soon enough.” If Steph had it her way they would be on their way to the nearest Hydra base has they speak. Patience has never been one of her strong suits.

After she puts her belongings in her room, Stephanie decides to wonder the halls to map out the bunker. The closest way to her room from the entrance, the fastest way to get from her room to Bucky’s.  She smiles to herself thinking of all the times they snuck into the other’s room, not to get all hot and heavy but just to talk and to check up on the other.

“Hey Cap, did you get lost?” Steph lets out a startled scream and jumps a little, her hand going to her chest.

“Christ, Jones don’t do that to me,” Gabe is laughing has he says, “Your boy is looking for you Rogers.” Then it clicks, of course.

“Bucky put you up to this didn’t he?”

“I have no idea what your talking about Captain.” His tone suggests otherwise.

“Hey Gabe, do me a favor and tell Barnes to meet me in the gym.” She adds a please at the end of it because she doesn’t want to make it sound too much like a command.

“Yes ma’am I will.” With that Steph jogs back to her room, changing into loose fitting clothes before making her way to the gym.

“It’s rude to keep someone waiting, when you’re the one that tells them to meet you, Rogers.” Bucky says in form of greeting.

“It’s rude to have someone else do your dirty work Barnes.” She challenges stepping up so they’re both in the center of the room.

“I don’t think you have any right to lecture anyone about manners, Stevie.” He uses the childhood nickname that she outgrown a little later than her mother would have liked. Steph watches Bucky take in her clothes. “Really you want to do this now, in front of the guys?”  That’s when Stephanie becomes aware that the other members of her team are standing against the far wall.

“Why not?” She asks light heartedly.

“Steph.” It’s a warning which means that she’s close to getting him to break.

“Unless you’re afraid that you’re going to get your ass kicked.”  She tilts her head to the side watching Bucky take in her words. Despite everything she knows that he’s just as bad as her when it comes to not backing down from a challenge.

“I’d hate to make you cry. Might make you embarrassed.”  He smirks at her and they’re circling each other now. “Is that the only thing on the line because I hate to inform you Barnes, I’m not easily embarrassed.”

“I know.” The banter ends when Steph throws the first punch which Bucky dodges easily, using his grip on her to pull her into a hit of his own. She frees herself at the last moment, ducking down and kicking his legs out from under him. He grabs her sleeve and pulls her down with him rolling so he’s on top of her in a crouched position. Steph raises her eyebrows at him in silent question and Bucky shrugs. “That was a little too easy Stevie.” He teases and Steph is quick is flip their position. Her hair is in her face and she regrets not pulling back but she knows that Bucky fights dirty when it comes down to it. The team whoops and hollers when they process what happens.

“Is that all you got?” Bucky smiles at her and uses a line Steph has used a hundred times before.

“I can do this all day.” His hand has worked its way into the ends of her hair and pulls hard enough to distract her, rolling them to the side and gets up before she has the chance to respond. “You should keep your hair pulled back when fighting.” He points out and Steph rolls her eyes. She tackles him not bothering with a proper response, using all of her weight to keep him down. He could get up if he wanted to and they all know it.

            That’s the first clue that Steph files away for later to think about later, is the fact that Bucky was able to keep up with sparring with her. When most normal people would have been down a lot earlier.

The second clue is Bucky’s appetite, Steph gives him what she doesn’t eat. Which she is quietly glad that he’s not aware of her metabolism otherwise he would be protesting. But Lord knows that he’s gone hungry for her enough times.

“There’s a word for what you are.” Bucky is leaning on his elbows. “I don’t know what it is yet but I’ll let you know whenever I do.”  He leans in closer. “Anyone ever call you-“

“If that ends with something sappy, I’ll punch you.” Dum-Dum cuts him off taking a seat on Steph’s left.

“Hell, I’ll punch you.” Steph adds has the others join them.

“What are we punching Barnes for?” Falsworth asks.

“Being a sap.”

“Then you both deserve to have your asses kicked.” Morita says. Dernier and Jones are having a conversation in French before the former begins to say in English.

“In the-“ He’s cut off by Peggy taking a seat on Stephanie’s right.

“Eyes up ladies. You’re all going out today.” That got all of their attention.

“When?” Steph asks going into a leader mode, which she didn’t know even existed until the serum.

“Right now.”

_______________

Steph suits up, grabbing the shield and strangely enough it felt like it was made to be in her hands. After she braids her hair and tucks it into her shirt. Stephanie takes a second to say a prayer that her and her team would make it out alive and okay.

______________________

            They succeed in an amazingly astonishing way. Steph takes in her men smiling brightly through the dirt and blood. Bucky runs towards her and they hug in the middle of the wreckage of it all.

On the way back to the SSR bunker they stop at a bar, nothing fancy, just celebratory drinks. It’s all going well. When a man approaches them claiming that Steph was a prostitute causing her team to go silent for once.

“Don’t.” Steph says firmly. They’re all still and Bucky moves first. “Bucky I mean it, don’t cause a fight because of me.”  He looks at her hand where it’s gripping her arm and back at her.

“He was talking shit about Brooklyn, ain’t got nothing to do with you.”

“Buck, he didn’t say anything about Brooklyn!” She calls after him but it’s too late because Bucky is halfway across the room. By the time Bucky’s fist connects with the mans jaw Dugan moves to join him. “Dum-Dum.” She starts

“He said something rude about my mother, Cap.” He’s gone when the stranger’s friends move to support him. Steph groans watching has a glass breaks and Morita is the third.

“Jim,”

“They said some shit about my heritage.”  Then a table is flipped. Falsworth says something about the mother country. Leaving her only with Jones and Dernier. Steph gives them an expectant look.

“Don’t want them to get their asses kicked.” Jones says before joining the brawl. At some point her and Dernier flipped their table to act has a shield and the Frenchman looked at her.

“Pour la France?” He asks, Steph nods giving up.

“Pour la France.” She confirms and he’s over the table with a shout. A glass shatters on the other side of the table and Stephanie sighs to herself. “They insulted my team.” She says before joining the fight.

Unsurprisingly they got kicked out. They all are touching in some way, arms wrapped around each other. By the time they get back to the bunker, they have earned the name “Howling Commandos,” because of how fucking loud they all are. Falsworth is the first to say that Steph is the loudest. Making sure her team is settled Stephanie is the first to turn in, Bucky follows her.

“I have a report to write.” She says once they reach her door.

“Could it wait?” Bucky asks and Steph gives him a smile as well as a nod.

“I’m sure a couple of minutes won’t kill anyone.”

            The couple spends the night talking, about anything and everything. Steph is halfway asleep when Bucky props himself up on an elbow, looks down at her and says.

“They injected me with something,” He confesses.

“What do you think it was?” She asks her fiancé, which is dumb given the encounter they had with Schmidt.

“I think it’s some version of whatever they gave you.” He looks at her expression. “You knew.” He says and it’s not a question.

“I suspected.” Steph mimics his position, eyes never leaving his.

“And I’m scared that they did something else because most of it is fuzzy. Steph looks at him waiting for him to continue. “What if I end up like Schmidt?” He questions and Stephanie’s eyes go sharp.

“You listen to me James Barnes, you are nothing like him.”

“Do you have any proof, that I’m not going to end up like that?” She sits completely up.

“Because you are here right now instead of helping Hydra do whatever it is they’re trying to do.” Bucky looks like he wants to argue but Steph shakes her head whenever he opens his mouth. “Just trust me on this. And if I’m wrong,” She meets his gaze unwavering. “I’ll kill you myself.”

            If they’re first mission was amazingly successful, the second one certainly made up for it. Though it gives Stephanie the final clue that yeah, Bucky is enhanced in some way. The mission goes like this; They arrive, and Steph goes straight in like before. That works until the building is about to go down. Steph thinks she’s going to make it out when a Hydra agent manages to get the drop on her and stabs her in the stomach, giving the building the extra second needed to collapse.

It’s Dernier not Bucky who notices that Stephanie is missing.

” Where’s the Captain?” He asks causing everyone to freeze.

“Cap!” Dugan calls but Bucky is the first one to move. Unthinkingly he runs to the rubble that used to be a Hydra base.

“Steph!” He calls. “Stephanie!” The other commandos freeze for a second time because they’ve never heard the Sargent use the Captain’s full name. There’s something in his tone that strikes a chord in all of them pushing them into action.

Bucky is shifting rubble out of the way calling out, listening for any kind of sound that would give away Stephanie’s location. It’s a cough of all things that lead him in the right direction. He immediately begins unburying her, moving pieces of collapsed building that no one man should be able to move by himself.

“Stephanie,” He breathes. “Hey look at me baby doll,” he says once he sees her face. “Steph?” He tries patting her face. “Stevie?” His voice cracks and her eyes open, just a silver of blue, he smiles. “Hey there, care to tell me how a girl like you ended up in a place like this?” Bucky can tell that Steph is confused has all get out, he hears the others approach and from his peripheral he sees Morita start to move smaller bits of rubble away from her abdomen and legs.

“I got ‘em.” Steph says weakly and Bucky laughs.

“I’m sure you did.” Unable to help himself, he glances down at the damage and feels sick. There’s blood everywhere and pieces of the building have imbedded themselves in various parts of his fiancé. And a knife which explains why she wasn’t able to get out. Steph tries to lift her head up to get a look but Bucky pushes her down again. “Hey you know looking at it makes it worse, just focus on me.”  She listens for once in her life and Bucky commands. “Tell me what you remember.” Dugan whispers in his ear low enough so Steph won’t be able to hear.

“Her legs are bad Sarge.” Bucky grits his teeth but continues talking because if there is one thing James Barnes is good at is distracting Steph Rogers.

“Doll, Stevie we’re going to have to work on you a little before we move you and it’s going to hurt.” Let it never be said that he wasn’t an honest man. Steph weakly says.

“Leave me.”

“What?” Bucky’s voice is sharp.

“Get out of here.” She gasps.

“No way in hell, Cap.” Falsworth says.

“The serum will do what it needs to do, I’ll catch up with you.”  She’s sweating and Bucky pushes some stray hairs away from her face. “The wounds will close soon, just have to cut them open again to remove anything before it works properly.”

“Drop the bull shit, Stevie. I made you a promise remember ‘til the end of line.” He tells her.

“The end of line, might come sooner than we thought.” She says dryly and despite the situation is bad, fucking terrible really, Bucky can’t help but feel relieved at her attempt of humor. There’s a slick _squish_ noise and Steph is making a whining sound quietly, like she’s afraid the others will judge her for being in pain. Bucky rolls his eyes because that is something she would do.

“I’m going to do what I can here, but there’s a few things I need you guys to do.” Morita says from his position near Steph’s stomach. There’s a piece of bloody shrapnel next to them if Bucky had to wager he’d say that the noise was him pulling the piece out. Seeing he has everyone’s attention the field medic continues. “Dugan, Jones, you guys get one leg. Falsworth, Dernier you guys get the other. Barnes you get her arms and give her something to bite down on, because this is going to hurt like a bitch.”  There are all quick to follow orders. Bucky slides his belt free and folds it before tucking the material between Steph’s teeth. At her confused noise he shushes her telling her everything will be okay. With everyone in position Morita works. Steph’s eyes are squeezed tight and her teeth are clenched on the belt, her arms are tense and she’s kicking her feet. Not intentionally but more of instinct than anything else.

The first piece is removed, than a second, a third/ By the fourth Steph is crying and creaming through clenched teeth. Bucky almost wants to join her, because it’s killing him not being able to help alleviate her pain. After the largest pieces are removed Morita, takes a canteen and washes the blood away. He wraps some gauze around the knife, in an attempt to keep it from shifting too much on their way back to the bunker.

“I’ve done what I can, and I don’t want to remove the knife without any trained help.”  The team looks at him and he adds. “If she were normal, she would have died.” That causes Bucky’s heart to drop into his stomach. The men are grim-faced and Stephanie is definitely unconscious otherwise she would be fighting up a storm about them talking about her like she wasn’t there.

Bucky puts his belt back on and picks his fiancé up. Giving the others a pointed look.

“Okay fellas let’s take care of our Captain.”

____________

            Steph comes to, covered in a sleeping bag and pressed to Bucky’s chest. It’s dark that much is obvious, and she feels terrible.

“It’s good to see those blue eyes.” Dugan says from his place across the fire. “Scared the hell out of us, Cap.”

“What happened?” She croaks out and the man lets out a laugh loud enough for their sleeping team to stir.

“Which part, because you got stabbed with a knife, let a building fall on you, then pieces of said building stabbed you.  She attempts to push herself up further on Bucky’s chest but a sharp pain in her stomach tells her that is a bad idea,

“Oh,” she says after lifting the sleeping bag to see the knife still in her. Dugan snorts.

“Rest Cap, you’ll be okay.” And Steph drifts off again.

The next time she wakes it’s because of Bucky picking her up.

“Buck?” She asks less confused than last night, then the situation processes in her brain. “I can walk.” She adds, because there’s a difference from being carried while unconsciousness, then being carried while being somewhat lucid. Bucky, looks a mixture of amused, concerned, a look that says exactly what he thinks about that idea.

“You know you have a knife in your stomach, right?” He doesn’t make any move to put her down, just keeps on walking.

“It’s not that bad.” She says lightly and Bucky doesn’t even respond to that one.

“Let him carry you, Cap.” Morita says from the side. “If it wasn’t for that serum you wouldn’t be here right now.”

“I’m fine.” She tries again.

“Barnes has she always been like this?” Jones asks.

“Unfortunately.” Bucky deadpans.

“Where’d you find her?” Falsworth, speaks this time.

“A back alley in Brooklyn.” Steph gives up on the fight to walk. Which is a testament for how tired she really is. Her left hand drops to rest on her stomach, wincing when she feels the soaked through gauze.

It takes them twice as long to get back to the bunker than it did leaving it. Morita looks grim whenever he checks Stephanie’s wounds, but she supposes that’s normal when you’re CO and friend has a knife in their stomach and you can’t remove it without the possibly of killing them. Dernier offers her anecdotes in broken English. About France and telling her that there isn’t a woman in his country that could hold a match to her. Jones elbows him sharply.

“She’s engaged.”  Dernier replies with.

“Unfortunately.” Causing her to laugh, and it hurts but she doesn’t regret it because the tension that lifts from everyone’s bodies makes it worth it. Falsworth brings her water mostly because any attempt at eating leads to her throwing it back up within minutes. Dugan amuses her with made up songs and stories. And Bucky. Bucky takes care of her just like he always had and by the time they get back to the bunker Steph is more than relieved that these men are on her team.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update I was out of town last week. And this chapter is shorter than the others because writers block is starting to hit me so sorry about that.

It takes two weeks for her wounds to completely heal. During which the weather has gotten cold. Cold enough to the point where Bucky, who has spent his whole life listening to her breathe is concerned when he doesn’t hear the wheezing breaths that typically come with any extreme weather. This also brings any progress to a screeching halt. Stephanie argues that Hydra won’t be stopping because of the weather and anyone who listens to her just shrugs because while they may have the best engineer in the country on their side, they can’t battle the weather. After the fifth day of her restlessly shifting about the bed, Peggy walks in and hands her a notepad and a pen.

“Something to keep your mind busy.” She states taking a seat next to the bed.  Once she’s left alone Stephanie begins to write.

_ November 15th, 1942. _

_ I don’t know who else will read this but after the last mission, I don’t want historians to tell the wrong story.  Before the serum I was a ninety-five-pound asthmatic, who barely scraped five feet, with a list of health problems as long as I was. Afterwards, I stepped out of a machine a perfect solider in every regard except one.  In the end I don’t care if I end up in the history books or not I care about doing the right thing. I’ve always been like that. Nothing special just a kid from Brooklyn. _

_                                                                     Cap, Stephanie Grace Rogers _

She’ll go into more detail once she’s feeling better and once she’s aware what’s classified and what’s not.

“I’m surprised you aren’t drawing,” Bucky says coming into the room making himself at home.

“Not much to draw except for my feet.” She closes the notebook and sets it on the table next to the bed.

“They’re nice feet.” Bucky says automatically causing himself to wince and Steph to laugh.

“I’m going to do you a favor and pretend I didn’t hear that.” She says cheerfully because, on the list of strange compliments Bucky has given her over the years this is the on the top. He sits down next to her before speaking again.

“You know you’re going to give me gray hairs.”

“I thought I was going to be the death of you?” She teases and Bucky laughs. Steph closes her eyes and takes in the sound. Her fiancé has been so stressed recently but when he laughs it seems like the shadows recede just a little. After they get out of the war she’s going to make sure he doesn’t feel stressed again.

“You’ll cause both.” He kicks his boots off and lays down next to her, his body shielding her own from the door and anyone who would come in. “What are you thinking, Stevie.” He intertwines their hands and relaxes all that much more.

“How lucky we are.”

“Right,” Bucky drags the word out. “Because you nearly dying is what we call a win these days.” He says dryly.

“It’s not that,” she shakes her head. “It’s just something.”

“You’re something.” Bucky counters playfully, bumping their foreheads together.

“Yeah. Sounds like a challenge Sargent.”

“It might be. What are you going to do about it Captain?” There’s a glint in Bucky’s eyes that tells Steph exactly what he wants her to do about it. He leans in to kiss her but Steph is quick enough to cover his mouth with her hand, and Bucky who is great at improvising just licks her palm in retaliation. Stephanie doesn’t give a verbal response just raises an eyebrow. Bucky raises both of his back, and she finally says.

“Nothing right now, I’m still recovering. Bucky gently pushes her hand down and mimics her expression and Steph doesn’t even remember who picked it up from who at this point.

“Well it’s something to look forward to.” He says.

“Buck?” She asks when he moves to get up, even their usual banter has worn her out.

“What’s up, Doll?”

“Lay with me.” She requests and Bucky doesn’t hesitate, laying back down pulling her close.

“I love you Stephanie Rogers.” He whispers has if it’s a big secret. Steph closes her eyes and replies.

“I love you too, James Barnes.”

_______________

A few mornings later Steph finds herself in the gym, stretching, figuring out what ways she can and can’t move. The wound on her stomach is a tender scar that pulls painfully if she moves the wrong way.

“Lady Liberty.” She freezes when Brandt enters the room. While the senator never made a pass at her personally, she heard the other girls talk.

“It’s Captain now Senator.” She says with forced politeness.

“Of course, how is my favorite girl doing.” Stephanie physically recoils at that. Because only Bucky with the exception of the other commandos can call her their girl.

“Sir, I don’t think it’s appropriate for us to be alone.” She says shortly. “People might talk.” Brandt takes a step forward and she doesn’t move.

“I’m a very powerful man Miss Rogers, you do not want me has your enemy.” His hand is on her shoulder and Stephanie feels exposed in the t-shirt that she’s wearing.

“May I help you?” A British voice asks and Steph instantly relaxes because one of her men are here.

“Who are you?”

“James Falsworth.” He says brightly. “Sir, I strongly suggest that you remove your hand from our dear Captain.” Brandt’s grip tightens.

“Is that a threat, son?” The senator asks and Falsworth shrugs.

“Just a friendly suggestion. You see Sargent Barnes is on his way down and he is fiercely protective over the Captain. We all are. So, I won’t be under any obligation to hold them back.”

“I am not a man you want to cross.” Steph rolls her eyes at the redundancy of it all.

“Neither is Schmidt or Hitler. Yet here we are.”  Brandt gives Falsworth a critical look which her friend adds. “I will not ask again.”

“Everyone needs to calm down.” She finally finds her voice and the two men look at her. “Senator Brandt, I suggest that you go to wherever it is you need to be.” The man lets go of her shoulder and leaves calling over his shoulder.

“I’ll see you soon Captain Rogers.” He passes Bucky and the others has he leaves.

“What was that about?” Her fiancé asks once in earshot.

“Just another bully.” Steph mutters. “Okay, gents.” She claps her hands loudly getting the focus away from the situation. “Lets practice.” 

They pair off in the usual groups. Her and Bucky going against each other mostly because of the enhancements they have. Steph’s back hits the floor, hard enough to knock the wind out of her but she’s quick to get back on her feet. She glances around the room and Bucky manages to get another hit in.

“Feeling lazy, Rogers?”  He teases, though he looks concerned and Steph knows that he’s going to bring it up when she least expects it.

“We should make a bet.” She offers lightly.

“Yeah? Like what?”

“Winner gets the good sleeping bag next mission.”  He dodges a punch.

“Boring.” Bucky says. “And they’re all the same.”

“Winner gets to decide the first song at our wedding?” She tries again, bringing up the age old argument.

“You’re on.” He holds out a hand so they can shake on it but Steph just shakes her head because Bucky is getting predictable.

“Nice try Barnes,” She says before grabbing his arm and pulling him, so his back is against her front and both of his arms are useless. Bucky turns his head to the side, and she rests her chin on his shoulder smiling at him.  “You were saying something about being worried.”

“I didn’t say anything about that.”  She glances around the room before pecking his lips.

“You didn’t have to.”  Bucky is leaning back against her and before she knows it he was a foot to between her legs and kicks her left ankle causing her to release him in order to maintain her balance.

“You didn’t think it would be that easy, did you?” He asks.

“A girl can dream,” she says shrugging.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second half of this chapter is up 7/1/19

             The third mission they go on is remarkably better than the previous one. On the way back to the bunker, the Howling Commandos were sitting around the fire having another one of their 'After the war' conversations. Dugan wants to find a dame to settle down with the comment. "You've ruined all other women for me Cap." He jokes at the end, to which Bucky throws a pebble at him. It's become sort of a joke between her and her men. That if she wasn't already engaged each one of them would try to win her over. Morita wants to see his family again.

"I have a fifteen year old sister, she's sharp has a whip."  

Falsworth wants to go to America. 

"I've never been, I talked about it for a while but," He gestures around them. "Here we are."

Gabe is hoping to better treatment now that he's served. "With Captain America no less," he adds to lighten the mood. 

Deriener talks about France and all of the sights but ultimately agrees with Dugan and Falsworth. 

"What about you and Sarge?" Steph and Bucky look at each other. 

"I, don't know." She says slowly.  At the same time Bucky says. 

"Start a family." Steph is shocked, they never really talked about it. There was barely enough money around for them let alone a third mouth to feed.  Bucky continues. " _Someone_ , promised me a baseball team." Stephanie remembers that conversation. It was the second winter after they were officially engaged, and the first since her mother died. She had wound up in the hospital with pneumonia. The doctor had told them that if by some miracle she ever got pregnant, it would kill her. Once her and Bucky were left alone she blinked back the tears. Bucky had just held her hands and asked why she was upset. 'I can't give you a family.' Her voice cracks, logically she knew she couldn't get pregnant even before the doctor told her but she always assumed that one day maybe. Bucky had frowned and told her that they could adopt. 'You and I both know there are plenty of kids out there who ain't got family.'  Growing up they lived down the straight from an orphanage. 'How many do you want.' he asked. Steph hadn't even thought about it but she said. 'A baseball team.' 

Stephanie is brought back to the present by Bucky snapping his fingers near her face,

"Are you okay?"

"Just thinking." The men around her make varying noises of amusement. 

"That much is obvious, Stevie." That's another thing that's picked up since the mission is the nicknames between the Howlies. Trying to give everyone a nickname that ended in the 'e' sound.

"Are we still adopting because I'm not going to physically have that many children."  Bucky looks shocked.

"Are you sure?"

"No but if the serum fixed everything else." Her cycles have at least been regular since the serum so if that's anything to go by.

"Timothy," Dugan says causing everyone to look at him. "Incase you're thinking of names that don't start with a J." Everyone else except for Stephanie and Gabe make offended noises and Bucky throws a bigger pebble with better aim. Dugan looks offended by the attack, but he doesn't flinch when the pebble hits him. 

"I don't know," She says thoughtfully looking at Bucky. "I've always liked the name James." Bucky laughs. 

"You would because you never had to listen to your mother use it to yell at you. Using your namesake to compare you to it."

"Your mom never did that, I was there." 

"It was worth a shot."  Bucky says, wrapping an arm around her and she leans into him out of instinct. And they all fall into individual conversations. "We're almost done sweetheart." Bucky whispers to her. Stephanie closes her eyes and takes a breath, something bad is going to happen, and she can't shake it.

               They get back to the bunker and Stephanie is whisked away for debriefing. 

"The years wrapping up but that doesn't mean that the work is done." Phillips says. "Rogers we need to borrow your sniper." 

"Barnes? That's his decision." 

     Bucky ultimately agrees to the not hydra related mission and a couple of weeks later, Steph is standing at the door has Bucky packs.

"If you don't want to go, then just tell me."  He says without looking up.

"It's fine, Buck, just please come back," her voice cracks and that gets Bucky's attention. He comes over and pulls her into a hug. 

"I will I promise." He presses his lips against her cheek. "Come hell or high water." 

"I'm running out of fight," She whispers incase anyone walks in without knocking.

"We're almost done." He says just has quietly. 

"Four more to go" she says.

"Four more to go," He confirms.

The mission Bucky goes on lasts for three months. During which Stephanie tris to keep busy. Looking for intel on the seventh Hydra base. Her men train with her trying to ease some of her nerves. It doesn’t help much. She’s tired, she hasn’t been sleeping well because she doesn’t know if Bucky is alive or dead and it’s driving her insane. Wiping the sweat from her brow Stephanie punches the bag again which sends it flying across the room.

“I’d ask if you’re mad, but I know the answer to that already.” Turning she sees Peggy walking into the gym.

“I’m not mad, I’m just irritated.”  Peggy clicks her tongue.

“Those are close to being the same thing when it comes to you Stephanie.” First name, not rank or last name, therefore this is a social visit.

“What can I help you with Pegs?” Her friend smiles tightly at the nickname.

“You have a wedding coming up in tow months, correct?” 

“Yes.”

“So you need to plan.”

“Not with out Bucky,” Steph is quick to shoot that idea down and Peggy rolls her eyes.

“Oh please, Sargent Barnes is more aware than most men I know he’ll be happy as long as you are.”

“What’s to plan? We’ve been engaged basically our whole lives.”

“Good then that means you have ideas.”

“Why is this important to you?” Peggy doesn’t respond right away and Steph can see her thinking.

“Because you’re my friend and I want your wedding to be everything mine wasn’t.” Stephanie can feel her brow furrow.

“I didn’t know you were married.”

“I’m not, I almost was. But I couldn’t get married and maintain a career like this.” Peggy’s voice is short and Stephanie knows that there’s more to the story that her friend isn’t telling. Making up her mind, Steph goes over to where her jacket is and slides it out.

“Come on Agent we’ve got a wedding to plan.”

Stephanie leans back in the chair she’s sitting in watching has Peggy writes everything down.

“I don’t want a dress.”  She comments mildly, marking a map. “My dress uniform is fine. No point of wasting money on something I’ll only wear once.” Peggy checks something on her paper and says.

“That just leaves, location.”

“Any chance we could get to Brooklyn?” Steph asks dryly.

“No unfortunately, however we may be able to get to London.”

“I’m not owed any favors.” Peggy smirks at her and Stephanie thinks that if she was a man she’d be attracted to her.

“I am.” With that her friend stands and walks out.

            Stephanie is nearly asleep whenever her door creaks open. She doesn’t move, counting their steps until they’re about halfway across the room before pouncing. Rolling from the bed and onto her feet, she throws a punch surprised when it’s blocked easily. Steph gets the intruder pinned down and now that they’re not moving and her eyes focus.

“Bucky?”

“The one and only.” She gets off of him.

“You scared the hell out of me.”

“In my defense I thought you’d be asleep.”

“Liar.” She calls flopping down on the bed.

“I can go to my room if you want.”

“No.” She protests immediately. “I want you with me.” She can hear the smile in his voice whenever he says.

“Move over then Doll. You’re not as small as you used to be.”  Rolling over onto her side, Steph waits until Bucky is situated before grabbing his arm and pulling it over her. Bucky intertwines their fingers, and tangles his legs with hers. “I missed you.” He whispers against her shoulder, pulling her even closer if possible.

“I missed you too.” And for the first time in three months Stephanie truly relaxes.

 

 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took awhile. There’s just been a lot going on. And this and the next chapters are going to be typed on my phone so sorry for the weird formatting.

The wedding went has smooth has possible. True to her word Peggy did manage to get them to London, had tried one more time to get Stephanie to wear a dress instead of her dress uniform.They take down a fourth base then the fifth when they received intel about Zola before they get to the sixth. 

“You know we have another three months before our anniversary?” Bucky points out pulling his coat tighter around him. 

“Well help me defeat Hydra and we can have a proper honeymoon.” Steph shoots back from where she’s pulling her hair back. 

“Is that a promise?”

“It’s a threat.” She takes off her wedding ring and sets it down on the night stand. The Captain was reluctant to wear it on missions in case she lost it. Bucky waits at the entrance for her and she grabs her shield before meeting her husband. “We’ve got work to do.” She says leading the way to meet with the other Howling Commandos.

The mission goes south as soon as they climb onto the train. Her and Bucky get separated and she doesn’t have her shield, but Bucky does and Steph can hold her own. After she incapacitates the Hydra agent and she’s able to the pry open the door that separates her and Bucky. Stephanie isn’t sure how it happens but the side of the train in blown away and she takes advantage of the situation, trying to push the enemy out of the side.

But he grabs her arm taking her out with him. Stephanie is able to grab a railing, she hears Bucky scream her name. The wind is cold and biting against her face. She looks up and can see the look of panic on her husband’s face has he holds out ahand. Steph is hopeful has she reaches for the lifeline. The rail snaps off and Stephanie cannot bite back the scream that rips from her throat. Oddly enough beneath the panic she’s content to know that Bucky’s face was the last thing she would see, just like she always knew it would. Then Captain Stephanie Grace Barnes knew no more.


	10. Chapter 10

They get Zola but Bucky doesn’t care about that. He cares about the fact his wife who was never supposed to see war to begin with is dead. He always knew she’d die before him but he thought it would be because of some illness not fighting. The other Howling Commandos are quiet and Bucky doesn’t make any effort to break the silence. 

When he reports to Phillips, it’s to tell him not to bother wasting tome and money writing out a condolence letter because the only family she had left was him. Suddenly there’s a hand on his shoulder and Bucky corrects himself the Commandos became their own little family of misfits. 

The following missions Bucky gets more reckless but he doesn’t care. Her shield stays at the bunker untouched. And sometimes he’ll turn to tell her something only to remember that he won’t ever be able to do so again. 

Peggy approaches him one evening when he’s drinking by himself.

“Can you even get drunk?” She asks in form of greeting and he shrugs, it’s been a month and so far the answer is no.

“We’ll find out.” He says flippantly, taking another drink and doesn’t notice or doesn’t care about the burn. He’s not sure which it is at this point.

“What do you think Stephanie would do if she saw you like this?” Bucky flinches at her name but shrugs and says.

“It doesn’t matter anymore, does it Agent?” A slap echos through the empty room. Peggy is standing there hand raised ready to hit him again. 

“She died to get the mission done and you are disgracing her memory.” Her voice is sharp has always but Bucky can hear a hint of grief. “You are becoming someone even Captain Rogers wouldn’t recognize.” 

“Barnes.” He corrects sharp and automatic, they were barely married under a year but he would be damned if someone tries to take that away from him.

“You are not the man Stephanie married, because that man wouldn’t be ruining her memory by trying to get himself killed every chance he gets.” That hits him harder than any physical blow, Peggy slams something down on the table and keeps her hand over it but Bucky can hear the rattle. “If you want to argue then prove me wrong Sargent.” With that she leaves Bucky alone. Glancing down at the table he feels his breath catch in his throat. It’s Stephanie’s wedding ring and on impulse he knocks everything else off of the table and screams into the crook of his elbow to muffle it. 

The next mission the Howling Commandos go on Bucky puts the ring on the chain with his dog tags, stopping only once more on his way out of their-his room to grab her shield out of the corner where it was collecting dust for the past three months.This is the last base and judging from the intel they received is possibly going to be the hardest. 

Hydra has gained an asset who can slip quietly and quickly in and out of large encampments the sign he was ever there were the bodies left behind. The troops have taken to calling the asset “The Winter Solider” from what Bucky has gathered it’s because of the calculated cold way the bodies were killed and because this “Solider” did what needed to be done to complete the mission. Almost like- nope Bucky is not going to go down that rabbit hole. 

They storm in the last base like they do every other and Bucky can’t help but feel comforted by the weight on his back of the shield. By some miracle Bucky manages to get on the plane that Schmidt is planning on using to destroy everything. And Bucky for a moment feels a righteous surge of anger and he wonders if this is what Stephanie felt like. Schmidt taunts him and before Bucky can move a figure steps out from a corner of the cockpit. This is without a doubt the Winter Soldier, dressed in all black except for the hair which is blonde grazing his shoulders, the Solider is as tall as Bucky but slimmer. The mask covering his face is made not to give away any clue has to the Soldier but actually be. The Red Skull looks to his asset. 

“She’s almost the perfect weapon.” Bucky wants to feel shocked that the Winter Solider is a woman but he can’t bring himself to. 

“Well I hate to break it to you I won’t hold any punches just because I’m fighting a dame.”

“Good.” And that seems to be all of the Winter Solider can take before she moves fluently, and silently across the room ready to attack Bucky. Once entangled in the fight they’re evenly matched. Whenever one got the upper hand the other would manage to escape and Bucky knows his time is running out, so at the first opportunity he slams the woman’s head into the floor, and quickly makes his way over to Schmidt who is holding a glowing blue cube and suddenly a flash of light and the only ones who remain are him and the Soldier.She’s getting up using the metal arm Bucky missed when she was in the shoulders to support her while the right hand reaches up to remove the mask. Bucky can’t see her face because of the way her hair falls, but he notices the shaking and wonders what kind of torture they put this woman through. She pushes her hair out of her face and Bucky feels the wind taken from him. 

“Stevie?” He asks his voice cracking and the fight suddenly makes since when he threw the shield she caught it and threw it back with practiced ease. Bucky can’t stop looking at his wife,her face is pale and her cheeks are hollowed, overall she just looks sick.Suddenly she’s moving like she did when they were fighting and Bucky doesn’t even prepare himself for a blow that he expects instead he’s pulled into a hug that is stronger than he expected. Before either one can get a word out the plane is shaking reminding them of their current predicament. Steph moves over to the controls explaining to Bucky in a voice rough from not being used.

“We don’t have enough time to safely land, we have to put it in the water.” Bucky reaches for the radio and calls whoever will answer. It’s Peggy.

“Hey Carter, there’s someone who wants to say hi.” He says and Stephanie speaks.

“Hey Pegs,” there’s a sharp intake of breath on the other end. “Sorry for doing this again but it looks like I won’t be making it home.”The only thing he can is Peggy’s shaking breathing. 

“I know.” 

“Listen can I ask you something?”

“Anything.” 

“Take care of the Commandos for me?” 

“As long as you take care of the husband of yours.” 

“I always do.” Steph disconnects the radio and holds her left hand out for Bucky to take. She swallows thickly before asking. “End of the line?” Bucky looks at the fast approaching ocean and then their hands. 

“End of the line.” He confirms right before they hit the water, Bucky moves shielding Stephanie from the worst of the impact. Not that it will do much but he’s holding her tight and he dies content because he’s doing what he’s always done. Protect Stephanie Grace Barnes.

 

      When Stephanie wakes up she’s shocked. Mostly because she wasn’t suppose to. She crashed a plane into the ocean with Bucky and- She sits up feeling off balanced glancing down her arm is gone again. The radio is playing an old baseball game that her and Bucky went to. A nurse comes in with a fake smile plastered to her face.

“It’s good to see you awake, Captain.” 

“Where am I?” She asks standing up.

“A medical facility in New York.”Stephanie glances around the room, not buying it.

“Where’s my husband?” 

“Who?” 

“The man I was with. Sargent James Barnes,” She starts to list off his dog tag number stepping closer to the ‘nurse’ 

“Sargent Barnes is okay but Captain if you don’t calm down I will have no choice but to sedate you.” Stephanie takes another step forward silent.

“Try it.” Even missing one arm she’s fairly certain that she can manage to get away. But these people have Bucky and if they’re Hydra. 

She’s right she leaves the fake hospital room and takes off running ignoring the fact that she’s barefoot and there are people chasing her. She opens the first door she gets to sighing when it’s the outside that means she’ll have to break back in to get Bucky. 

She doesn’t stop though just runs through the streets. It’s definitely New York, the street layouts are the same and she stops looking up taking in all of the bright colors and noise around her. Black vehicles surround her and a dark skinned man in a black leather coat with an eyepatch walks to the middle of the circle.

“Who are you?” She asks wishing for her arm.

“Nick Fury,” He says causally. Taking in her surprised look has she looks around he adds. “Welcome to the future Captain.”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry for the lack of detail but I’m leaving on a mission for my church and I’m just trying to get all of my unfinished works wrapped up. Thank you to all of those who have read this story and I hope you have enjoyed it.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, please comment anything you would like to see and I'll try to make it happen. In case you haven't figured out I'm going to work through the first movie with some twists and turns, as well as some extra stuff just to add more to the plot.


End file.
